I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
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