my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
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