So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
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