Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Randomize