We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Randomize