plz talk dirty to me
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
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