we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
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