____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize