Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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