The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
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