I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
I just had sex on a roof
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Randomize