i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
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