What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
Your penis caused this!
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Randomize