I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
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