I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize