Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
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