i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
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The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
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