did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
My butt remains clenched, sir.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
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