tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
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he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
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The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
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