weddingsv make me drug and hornr
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
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If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
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Blow job season was short but glorious.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
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