Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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