Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
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