Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
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But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
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Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
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