It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
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He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
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The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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