So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
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I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
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He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
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