I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Randomize