I hate your face
You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
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