Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
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