There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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