hell yes lets make some ravioli
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Best friends brother. Beat that.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
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