apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
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