I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
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