so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
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I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
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