Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
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