I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
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