The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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