It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
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she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
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The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
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