Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
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