so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
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