you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
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