no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
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