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Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
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