Rock
Scissors
Fuck
my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
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