): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
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