you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
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I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
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