so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
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