I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
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