there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
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