Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
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