There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
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