I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
your like the ambassador to my penis.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Just pee around me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
Randomize