i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
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