Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
Is it normal to miss your booty call?
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize