you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
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