8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
Michael Bay diarrhea
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Randomize